


Miscellaneous Bad Limericks

by cruisedirector, CyberMum



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Limericks, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-02-02
Updated: 2002-02-02
Packaged: 2017-10-06 23:30:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/58913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cruisedirector/pseuds/cruisedirector, https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyberMum/pseuds/CyberMum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Random rhymes started during am IM session with B.S. and CaptOz, then with CyberMum, mostly J/C with assorted snide comments about other characters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Miscellaneous Bad Limericks

**ELOGIUM**

When Kes started acting outrageous,  
Her desire proved to be contagious.  
The aliens turned blue--  
The first officer, too--  
But for Janeway, that was advantageous...

_\--cruisedirector_

  
**THE 37s**

Lost over the ocean with Fred  
She was widely presumed to be dead,  
But Amelia Earhart  
Got a new start  
When aliens froze her instead.

_-_ _-cruisedirector_

  
**RESOLUTIONS**

Stranded with Chakotay so hunky,  
Kathryn remained a science junkie.  
Even in that warm climate  
She preferred a primate,  
So Chak was left spanking the monkey.

_-_ _cruisedirector_

  
**CODA**

After all the blows to his dignitas,  
Chakotay was feeling quite frivolous.  
Gave the captain a rose,  
Took off all his clothes,  
And said, "Kathryn, just look at how big it is!"

_-_ _cruisedirector_

  
**UNITY**

When Chakotay joined the Collective  
For a full-body bio-corrective,  
He opened his mind  
Riley answered in kind  
Then they turned toward matters erective.

_\--Jim  
_

  
**SCORPION PART II**

Chak used to be Janeway's best friend,  
Her path he would always defend.  
But now she's the ice queen,  
Celibate and mean,  
Her morals she's not willing to bend.

_\--BS_

  
**THE KILLING GAME**

Captain Miller had followed Catrine  
To a Klingon-infested ravine;  
He thought he might get lucky,  
But his timing was sucky  
When he had to go to the latrine.

_-_ _cruisedirector_

  
**LIVING WITNESS**

Evil Janeway pulled off one black glove,  
Said, "Chakotay, I'm needing some love."  
But her tattooed XO  
Was in a blow-by-blow  
With Tom Paris, when push came to shove.

_\--BS and_ _ cruisedirector_

  
**UNFORGETTABLE**

After five years of mooning a lot,  
Chakotay found Kellin quite hot.  
She came onto the ship  
For the rest of the trip,  
Knocked on his door, then...I forgot.

_\--_ _cruisedirector_ _ and ANRIEBEAR_

  
**NIGHT**

Captain Janeway was really more fun  
When she had her hair in a bun.  
Since she chopped off the length  
She's lost all of her strength...  
Now all she's got is a big gun.

_\--BS_

  
**COUNTERPOINT**

After five years of celibate bore,  
Janeway's ship met up with the Devore  
And though she won the struggle,  
Kashyk snuck in a snuggle,  
So I'd have to say he won the war.

_\--_ _cruisedirector_

  
**THE FIGHT**

There was a man named Chakotay  
Whose hair was lovely black and gray  
Till he went for a bottle  
To get rid of the mottle;  
Now his locks look just like a toupee.

_\--Captain Oz and_ _ cruisedirector_

  
**THE DISEASE**

Chak's fattest, Tom's longest, but Harry  
Has a dick that's entirely scary.  
It's purple and skinny  
And his balls are so mini  
That the Delaneys both prefer Carey.

_\--BS and_ _ cruisedirector_

  
**BRIDE OF CHAOTICA**

When Kate's dressed as the Bride of Chaotica,  
Our thoughts turn of course to erotica,  
But since this Star Trek  
Libidos stay in check;  
One cannot even think of exotica.

_\--Cybermum_

  
**ON SEASON SIX**

While on board her Starfleet vessel  
The Captain refuses to nestle  
With this explanation  
"I've had no temptation -  
'Til now there's been no one to wrestle."

But coming up in Season Six  
There will be pugilistic tricks  
Ratings are vital  
They've found a new title:  
Janeway: Delta Dominatrix.

_\--Cybermum_

  
**AND SOME TERRIBLE DS9 LIMERICKS!**

There was a legate named Damar  
Who loved to guzzle down kanar  
Till one day he got hot  
And came on to Dukat --  
Now he's barred from every Cardie bar.

A Starfleet commander named Sisko  
Would never avoid any risk, no,  
But ask him any day  
Of his true goal, he'd say  
He always dreamed of running a disco.

There once was a young Trill named Dax  
Who preferred her men flat on their backs  
But she couldn't complain  
When she met Vic Fontaine  
Who played her to holo-climax.

There was a bad boy named Dukat  
Who wanted to see Bajor rot  
Down in the Fire-Caves  
His villainy won raves  
But he's finding it rather too hot.

_-_ _-cruisedirector_


End file.
